wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
