i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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