I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
