i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
