just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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