Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
