Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
