On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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