god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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