I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
