So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
