operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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