just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
