In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Michael Bay diarrhea
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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