So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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