They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
