i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
handjob tips. give me some.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
