how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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