I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
