Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Sorry about my life...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
