the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
