Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
