awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
