Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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