are you still at the devil's house?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
