I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
NoShamevember. You game?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
And then the night went full on bisexual.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
