I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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