And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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