I wish I only lived at night.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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