I'm eating all of the evidence.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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