There is no way he is gay with that hair.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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