literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Damn victory sex feels great
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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