Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
