Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
