when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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