He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
