I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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