You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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