is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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