this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
