So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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