I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
