Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
