The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
