Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
