I cockslap morals
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
