I seem to have left my pride at pride
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
