This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
