I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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