is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
