So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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